Yes, I have actually watched every one of these monstrosities. Here are the top 5 absolutely, definitively worst science fiction movies of all time. Waterworld? Armageddon? No, those films are Oscar worthy compared to the sci-fi cinematic stink-bombs in the list below:
5. StarCrash (1978)
Actually, Starcrash is so bad it’s awesome. It’s David Hasselhoff’s second movie and for some reason he wears a ton of makeup. Star Crash aka Female Space Invaders was released a year after Star Wars and rips off from it as much as possible. But instead of great special effects it has bad Ray Harryhausen-esqe stop motion effects. Instead of the Death Star it has a spaceship shaped like a giant hand. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the CP3O ripoff named Elle who has a Southern accent. Seriously, if you need a reason to watch Starcrash it’s seeing Hasselhoff turn on his lame-saber and hear its hilariously weak sound effect.
4. Turkish Star Wars (Dünyayi kurtaran adam) (1982)
Turkish Star Wars is the movie that steals footage directly from Star Wars. Of course, they can’t even steal footage correctly and splice it in using the wrong aspect ratio. And for the soundtrack they steal music from Star Wars and Indiana Jones. The rest of the movie is composed of people dressed in furry mascot costumes fighting each other on what I guess is supposed to be Tatooine. Here is an example of the magical narration in this masterpiece: “A coating which was formed by compressed human brain molecules was protecting the earth.” The Turkey movie industry seems to love ripping off American movies. Two that are on my must see list are Turkish Star Trek (Turist Ömer Uzay Yolunda) and Turkish Superman (Süpermen dönüyor).
By far the best part of Turkish Star Wars is the hilarious Jedi training ripoff scene in the Youtube clip below.
3. Robot Monster (1953)
In Robot Monster, an archaeologist invents an antibiotic serum that makes them immune from death rays from aliens. Does that make any sense? The main problem is the monster “Ro-man” is not even close to frightening. It’s an overweight dude in a gorilla suit bumbling around; kinda like a live action version of Baloo, the bumbling bear from The Jungle Book. Like Turkish Star Wars, Robot Monster uses footage from other movies, in this case, fake dinosaurs and alligators with fins glued to their backs from One Million B.C. If you feel compelled to watch this horrible movie, then definitely watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 enhanced version of it.
Robot Monster
2. Battlefield Earth (2000)
Battlefield Earth is John Travolta at his absolute worst. His character is the lamest impersonation of a Klingon ever. An example of the stupidity of this movie is when Travolta leaves his prisoners at a mine completely unguarded. He checks on them every few days. What? One of the characters (I don’t know who any of the characters are since they didn’t develop them at all) teaches another character the Pythagorean theorem in prison. Is that supposed to help them escape? Also, there is scene where the humans learn how to fly harrier jump jets in one week. I forgot to mention the bad acting, bad plot, bad sets, bad accents, bad hairdos, bad camera angles, bad script, bad nose things…
Battlefield Earth
1. Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
Yes, of course, Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space is the absolutely worst science fiction movie of all time. This classic film is full of awesome horribleness. The plot concerns the ninth plan to take over the earth that involves using three human zombies. It famously stars Bela Lugosi even though he died before Ed Wood wrote the script for Plan 9. So Wood’s wife’s chiropractor stands in for Lugosi and puts his cape in front of his face to hide the fact. The stilted acting and ludicrous lines make Plan 9 pretty entertaining to watch. Technical gaffes are plentiful, such as the completely obvious string holding up the UFOs.
Is Plan 9 From Outer Space the worst movie ever? Not by a longshot! Amazingly, Manos: The Hands of Fate is an order of magnitude worse than Plan 9. Manos: The Hands of Fate will make you sick with its disgusting film quality and editing, idiotic plot and the stupid satyr/Igor dude.
Plan 9 From Outer Space
You’re not kidding! That Manos is mind-bendingly awful. Funny…your review of Star Crash made me want to see it again.
[...] Strange Eye takes a stab at choosing The 5 Worst Science Fiction Movies of All Time, but whoever picked them never saw Flash [...]
You forgot all of the Dr. Who movies.
Dr. Who? What are you talking about? All the odd numbered Star Trek movies need to be on this list.
Uhm that Turkish Star Wars clip was quite entertaining… is that where South park got the song for the Special Olympics Jimmy on steroids episode??? Wow that was terrible!