Archive for the ‘Movie Reviews’ Category

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

Friday, September 11th, 2009

One late night, I was able to catch this long forgotten gem.  This early 80’s film starred a young Diane Lane, Laura Dern, and Brent Spiner (Data from Star Trek).  The movie’s plot focused on a young, independent all-grrl punk band as they try to make it big.

This film is great since it follows this band from absolute obscurity till break-out stardom.  As the band becomes more popular, Diane Lane’s character is lead astray by the new shyster manager into selling her image to her fans (clothes, hair dye, makeup).  Her fans turn on her for turning them into foolish clones.  After some time, she and her band reinvent themselves and become more popular than ever.

Also, there’s other punk bands, family problems, and a love story.  What’s remarkable about this film is how one could watch it today and see how some of today’s bands go from unknowns to being very popular.  It illustrates the the process fairly well.  It’s well worth a visit if you get the chance.

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Alien Trespass

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Alien Trespass is a science fiction movie starring Eric McCormack of Will & Grace fame. It tries  by the classic science fiction movies of the 1950’s.  Before I watched it, I expected Alien Trespass have a great story or be funny. It failed on both counts. It’s a mystery to me, and probably the actors also, what they were trying to do with this movie. The plot was as basic and cliche as possible and there wasn’t anything that even came close to making me laugh. Everyone in the movie is a blandest stereotype possible - the greaser, the scientist, the cops, the alien, and the waitresses. Nothing’s wrong with stereotypes as long as they are interesting or funny or exciting in some way. When the alien takes over the scientist’s body, the alien has a monotone voice with no emotion. But the scientist himself was boring with no personality, so not much difference. The camera is fixed in all scenes, which I don’t mind in this shaky-cam crazy era we live in, but in this case it makes a boring movie even more boring.

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Eric McCormack and Jenni Baird are bored with Alien Trespass too

Mars Attacks by Tim Burton is my favorite modern movie that spoofed sci-fi classics. Mars Attacks is funny, exciting,  has Jack Nicholson and cool special effects - everything that Alien Trespass lacks. The only thing I liked about this bore-fest was that the monster vaguely reminded me of the creature in the classic video game Maniac Mansion: Day of the Tentacle. I guess showing the alien below is a spoiler, but really, nothing will surprise you in this movie. One positive thing I can say about Alien Trespass is the sets look nice and cheesy and vibrant like the old movies.

The T-1000 can't beat this alien?

The T-1000 can't beat this alien?

Blaxploitation Smackdown: Coffy vs. Black Caesar

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

The favorite and celebrated exploitation genre, blaxploitation, is full of an overwhelming number of titles.  Some films strived to be the best and poignant films of their day and others were complete shit (see The Guy from Harlem).  Here are two films remembered as being iconic in this genre and worth consideration for a rental. 

Coffy seems to come off as a serious film.  But, numerous gratuitous shots of bare breasted women (including Pam Grier!), multiple cat fights, and ridiculous plot take away from the gravity of the film.  Actually…let’s say this adds to the film.

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Black Caesar is a story about a street kid who takes a meteoric rise to the leader of a crime syndicate.  It includes everything from crime, drugs, dirty cops, and racism (and lots of the n-word).  This film can definitely treated as a more serious film than Coffy.  It also has an absolutely badass soundtrack! 

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Wrong Turn 2– Gore Gore & More Gore..

Friday, April 24th, 2009

Wrong Turn 2 takes gross gore to a new level.  Some of it is hard to watch and some is funny in a twisted way.

With that being said watch the first scene (below) and once you get through the opening credits be prepared to laugh.  Its super twisted and gross, but I chuckled.

Henry Rollins actually helped this movie tremendously.  Seemed to give the film a sence of value.  His character is hilarious!

Gross and full of gross suspense.  If you can handle looking at lots of deformed people and gross ways to die, go get this movie and be prepared to lose your lunch.

Just to balance it out there is a bit of T & A to please your eyes in the constant gorefest!

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Top 10 Greatest Comedy Movies of All Time!!

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

This is my list of the Top 10 Greatest Comedy Films of All Time.  Feel free to comment with your list and suggestions.  I am biased to 90’s films cause that was the “Hey Day” of buddy comedies!

#1.  Dumb & Dumber — Hands down best comedy ever.  Who knew Jeff Daniel’s had it in him– and you can see him let it ALL out midway through.

#2.  Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls.  Jim Carrey was given carte blanche on comedic freedom.  It may take a a couple viewing to get the full respect for this film, but when you do you’ll laugh forever.

#3. Waterboy. I Thaw you on the ESPN….

#4.  Ace Ventura: Pet Detective– I am Heinze Skitz Velvet, trainer of Dolphins!

#5. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  I loved Vacation and Euro Vac, but Xmas Vac is the total package.  Everyone who has siblings can relate to this Holiday Classic.

#6.  Billy Madison -  Again this may take a time or two for full respect, but when you see it!!  Woo Hooo….

#7. Friday -  Craig and Smokey bring laughter to the Hood.

#8. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back -  Kevin Smith’s dramatic comedies deserve respect, but this film is no holds barred foul comedy that will make you shit yourself.

#9. Tropic Thunder -  Wow did this film blow me away.  Robert Downey Jr and Ben Stiller did their usual masterful work, but the shocking performance by Tom Cruise almost got him a Golden Globe.  Jack Black has another A+ performance as well.

#10.  Tommy Boy– I couldn’t leave Farley off the list.  Farley and Spade were quite the duo.

Damn Close Alternates:  I wish there were more slots in the Top 10, but I can’t seem to drop any of these.

South Park–Bigger, Longer, & Uncut– Its almost too funny! 

Dodge Ball– Go Balls Deep… F’n A Cotton…. F’n Aaaaa……

Airplane– Enough said

Superbad– minus the gay boy boy on boy friendship.

Happy Gilmore “Suck My White Ass Ball”

Trading Places “Damn Jerky Beef”

Me, Myself, and Irene — Warming the Mellon (Get the DVD extras!)

Pineapple Express– Craig Robinson deserves an oscar!

Kingpin–  McCracken!

I KNOW I AM MISSING SOME….?????

Oh Yeah!!

“The Strangers”–Horror/Suspense Thriller

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

The Strangers is a movie worth watching.  It you want goosebumps and a gut wrenching fear of answering the door late at night then this is the movie for you.  With minimal gore and “monsters” this movie will out duel any high budget CG film.  Overall this movie gets an A based mainly on suspense, cinematography, and eeriness.  Acting was very good as well (since most acting in these films is questionable).  There isn’t much left to say except– Go get this film and don’t watch it alone!

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DEAD of WINTER 2006– Horror

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

I was asked to blog this movie, cause the cover looked so appealing to viewers who like horror and suspense thrillers.  The movie is about a C+ overall.  The suspense is good from time to time.  The acting was believable.   The only part that lost me was the mood swing of the main guy.  It seemed like the transition was lacking.  Take a look at the trailer.  It is honestly worth a watch if you like those types of movie (since most get an F).

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Now the ending does provide a twist, but getting there (to the end) is pretty rough.  Be prepared!